Greenville Month 1: Finding a New Faith Family

A significant part of moving to a new city for us is finding a new church family.  This is exciting and overwhelming all at the same time.  On one hand, we have been refreshed by the new congregations we have visited and eagerly anticipate finding community and ministry opportunities once we land at a church.  On the other hand, Calvary has been home for so long.  Being a congregant for 20+ years and on staff for 8, I was spoiled by the familiarity and deep friendships that were part of this body. There have been so many pivotal spiritual and personal milestones that have been part of my connection to Calvary.  For all of this and how God has used Calvary in Ron's life too, I am eternally grateful.

But now we have the unique opportunity to start afresh and experience being the person who is completely unknown and churches that are entirely unfamiliar.  Having been in Greenville for a month, we've attended a handful of churches, and it's been really interesting to be the visitor.  Here are several observations I've made as a visitor.

1. Being Known (if even for or perhaps because of being new) Matters.  This is one of our basic human desires: to be recognized, to be known, for someone to call us by name, for people to remember our birthday, etc.  Two weeks into our move to Greenville, I ran into a woman at Noah's preschool who said, "you look familiar."  She might as well have said you won a million dollars!  I wanted to wrap my arms tightly around her friendly little neck and burst into tears. [You'll be happy to note that I held it together, did not forever scare this kind person away, and have rekindled an old high school friendship.]  But it was such a joy to be familiar to someone.  In this broken world far too many people and their plights are anonymous.  And yet this is where the church should be different.  We should be proactive in seeking out those who are unknown.  And if they walk in our doors, we should absolutely recognize their presence.  If we think of our gatherings (in part) as welcoming the stranger into the home of our faith family, then it would be strange for a new person to enter into our living room and no one to acknowledge their presence or personally welcome them.  

One church we visited had a visitors area in the parking lot where they could connect with us and capture our contact info.  If we had skipped this area, there were several other touch points for them to capture our info as first time guests.  It was clear to me that they wanted to know who was new in their midst.

Leaders and Laity: How do you recognize and connect with visitors in your midst?

2. Environment Matters.  The environment of the church either helps or hinders the function of the church.  This may be a teeny, weeny soapbox for me, but I think it's an important point.  If we want our services to be communion around the holiness of God, the depravity of man, and glory of the life, death, and resurrection of Christ, then the content and environments in and surrounding our services matter.  Some thoughts to consider (we can disagree and still be best friends, promise!): how does lighting distract because of flashiness or diminish the ability to see and engage people?  How does the volume of music encourage or discourage participation?  How does bringing food and drink into the service set the stage for a casual gathering or a spectator posture?  These are several of many examples that help us consider how the environment of the service impacts the experience and understanding of those in attendance. 

Leadership: How does your environment help or hinder what you believe to be the mission of the church (gathered)?

3. Friendliness Matters.  Ron and I are moderately confident people.  It would be hard to dissuade us from attending (a) church simply because no one initially speaks to us.  We are determined to plug into a local church, because we recognize that our spiritual health and personal health depend on it.  But I imagine there are a lot of visitors who are very tentative about being new or what church is about. To come to a new place and not have anyone approach you or talk to you could be very disheartening.  

At the end of one church we visited, the kindest man approached us.  He wasn't a pastor or staff person; simply a lay person who approached us to ask if we were new.  He proceeded to engage us for about five minutes asking about our lives and being genuinely friendly.  This made a huge impression on us.  I couldn't help but think, "If this church is made up of people like this guy, then this is a place I want to be."  The guy was kind and friendly, and it made a difference!  At another congregation, I had a friend contact me on a Saturday night asking if I was planning to attend and wanted to sit with her.  Again it made a significant difference to have someone reach out to me and to experience the congregation, in part, through her lens.  

Lay person: How are you as a member of a faith family intentionally looking for unfamiliar faces to warmly greet and welcome into a deeper relationship with your congregation?

4. Follow Up Matters.  Whether formally or informally, follow up is important.  I have been intentional to follow what I understand to be "visitor protocol" in all the churches we have visited partly because I want more information and partly because I'm curious if churches will follow up with us.  It has been meaningful for us to receive emails, phone calls, and even Starbucks gift cards from congregations we have visited.  The email of one congregation led us to the most enjoyable and informative meeting with their pastor.  On the other hand, there have been congregations that we did not hear from.  We have wondered if they lost our information or if they simply do not have a system set up to connect with folks who visit their church.

Leadership: How does your church follow up with visitors?

Overwhelmingly we have been encouraged by the congregations we have visited!  We are praying about where to land, but are grateful for several wonderful options.