Reflections from a novice couponer

Almost a year ago I became interested in couponing.  Ron and I agreed that I needed to cut some hours at work, which meant a reduced income.  As a result I was looking for ways to save on our expenses, and couponing seemed like a good idea.  With about a year under my belt, I thought it might be helpful to share my experience for anyone who's interested in giving it a try.  Here are some reflections from my year of couponing.

1. Get advice from a pro.  

My kind friend,Carmen, agreed to sit down with me to explain the basics.  Carmen is to couponing as a black belt is to karate.  She's good!  It was very helpful to hear how couponing works and get some tips from her before attempting to use coupons on my own.  If you don't know anyone personally, there are a number of great websites that offer basic information about couponing.  The two I have used the most are Southern Savers and Moola Saving Mom.

2. Be prepared and organized.

I'm not going to lie.  The first several times I attempted to use coupons were very stressful.  I was sweating, my heart was racing, and I was generally a hot mess.  This was partly to blame on having a toddler with me, but I can't totally blame Noah.  I wasn't as prepared as I could have been, and it made for a stressful experience.  I would suggest researching deals in advance, knowing what you want to buy, and only bringing in those coupons.  I've had far too many experiences of fumbling through a stack of coupons and it ain't pretty.  The websites I mentioned above will literally go store by store telling you the deals and coupons needed.  They do all the research for you, but you have to organize your coupons.

3. Know all the places to find coupons.  

Everyone thinks of the newspaper for coupons, but there are many great websites and store reward programs that provide great coupons.  I use coupons.com to print off so many great coupons.  I also get emails from stores that include coupons.  

4. Know what kind of couponer you want to be.

I think this is an important point because it seems like many are scared away from couponing with images of "Extreme Couponing" running through their heads.  You know your schedule and capacity; use coupons as much as you are able.  There are people who will go to five different grocery stores and three different drug stores to get all the best deals.  I'm not that person.  I typically shop at four stores: Walmart, Sams/Costco, Harris Teeter, and CVS.  I may be missing some deals by limiting my stores, but I'm ok with that.  I have a limited amount of time and energy to coupon, and I believe I've found a good balance.  It will look different for each person.

5. Know "good prices" for items.

Now that I have some coupon experience under my belt, I'm embarrassed to admit that in the past I would go to a store for whatever I needed and buy it at whatever the price.  If I needed deodorant and was close to a CVS, I would run in and get my Dove deodorant at whatever price was listed.  If it was on sale, great.  If not, I would still buy it having no clue whether I was getting a good deal or not.  The reality is that there are basic average prices for every item and when you learn those price points, you begin to realize whether you are getting a good deal or not.  There are plenty of times when a sale price is not really a sale at all and when using a coupon at a certain store means that it is still more expensive than the normal price at another store (usually Walmart, Sams, Costco, etc.).  I started compiling a list on my phone of best deals, so that I can compare prices and know if I'm really saving money or not.  Let me repeat that just because an item is on sale or because you use a coupon, it doesn't mean you are getting the best deal.

6. Stock up.

I know, I know.  You don't want to become THAT PERSON who has hoards of soap bars and cereal boxes.  You don't have to be, I promise.  What I mean by stock up is that you want to get ahead of the sale.  You want to have enough of all of your basic items that you can always purchase more at the lowest cost.  If you have a buffer of toiletries and food items, then you have the flexibility to wait several weeks for a specific coupon and/or certain sale to purchase more.  You will spend more if you are completely out of an item and you don't have a coupon or sale for it.  So don't hoard, but do stock up.

7. Just because it's cheap (or even free), doesn't mean you have to buy it.

I'm sure some will disagree with me on this point, but I've come to believe that purchasing what you don't need or may not like is not helpful.  Coupons are really tempting in this way.  You get a good coupon for a food you've never tried, and it's really easy to justify purchasing it.  You may end up not liking it and then wasting it.  I basically use coupons for about 20 different items (cereal, deodorant, toothpaste, pasta, pasta sauce, etc.).  I know that I can get these "staple" items really cheap or even free by using coupons.  There are a million items you can try simply because you have a coupon; I wouldn't recommend it.

8. Have realistic expectations.

You're not always going to use coupons and save 90% on your grocery bill.  People post their crazy savings on Facebook, but typically those are "one in ten trips" kind of savings.  For instance, when Harris Teeter has "Super Doubles," you can get some really good deals (like, they will pay you to buy items).  But this is not normal.  It will take some time to get into a rhythm with using coupons, but typically I save between 30 - 50 percent on my groceries.  That is good news to me and my family's budget.  

I'm still very much a novice in the couponing world, but it has been interesting to get started and learn how it all works.  It does take time and energy, but it can save you and your family some serious money.  If you have any question or comments, I'd welcome you to add it to what I've shared.  Happy couponing to you!

Karen's Wedding

Last week I had the opportunity to fly to Memphis to be in one of my best friend's wedding.  Karen and I became friends our freshman year at Samford and quickly became very close.  We were roommates our junior and senior year, went to the same church all four years of college, and babysat for the same family.  She has been a great source of encouragement and wisdom (and FUN!) over the past 14 years (has it really been 14 years since our freshman year of college??).  

There were several reasons I was PUMPED to travel to Memphis for Karen's wedding:

1. While I ADORE being at home with Noah and count it the highest privilege and most rewarding use of my time and energy, the reality is that it can get pretty monotonous and mundane (in the most awesome way...ha!).  

2. The wedding weekend doubled as a girls reunion with some of my dearest friends from Samford and Birmingham.  This doesn't happen often, and it's always reason to celebrate.

3. Karen has navigated singleness in her twenties with such wisdom and grace.  She has been patient and not settled.  God has brought her an amazing spouse, and it brings me so much joy to celebrate their marriage.

Here's how the weekend unfolded:

I flew into Memphis on Thursday morning and was able to enjoy almost two full days alone with Karen.  We got mani/pedis, grabbed Starbucks, finished up some last minute wedding details, and generally just enjoyed a pretty low key couple of days before the wedding festivities.  While Karen was very laid back, there was evidence of "bride brain:"  after lunch on Friday, we went to the bathroom.  Karen pumped mouthwash into her hand thinking it was soap and was really confused when it didn't lather up.  Then she tried to get $50.00 cash back at Costco and somehow pushed 5 cents instead.  The cashier gave her a nickel and sent her on her way.  We had a great laugh, and it was just what we needed to keep our mood light.

On Friday night we had a bachelorette party for Karen with 12 friends.  Per Karen's request, we went to one of her favorite Mexican restaurants and then back to her friend, Sarah's house for a lingerie shower.  The only formal activity was a quiz for Karen about how well she knew Derek.  She did really well - who knew Derek's favorite animal is a flamingo? - but for every wrong answer she had to put a gobstopper in her mouth.  She got more right than wrong, but she definitely ended the activity having popped quite a few gobstoppers. :)

Saturday we were in full wedding mode with a bridesmaids luncheon and rehearsal dinner.  Several of Karen's relatives treated her lady friends to a delicious lunch at Seasons 52.  Perhaps one of the best parts of the lunch were the mini dessert towers that allowed us to sample about ten desserts in perfect individually portioned cups.  The picture below (top right) represents how many desserts I consumed in partnership with two friends.  For the dessert and many other reasons, the lunch was delightful.

The "rehearsal dinner" was really just a good ole' BBQ dinner with about 40 of Karen and Derek's closest friends and family.  It was informal and yummy and loads of fun.  After dinner about twenty of us went Lafayettes to enjoy live music.  It was Karen and Derek's last sha-bang before their wedding.

Sunday was WEDDING DAY!  The wedding and reception were both at Hillwood Manor which was the perfect venue for Karen.  The huge stone fireplace and wood covered walls made it feel like an elegant cabin living room.  It was special to spend the morning with Karen watching her transform into a radiant bride.  The wedding and reception were perfect.  The ceremony was a beautiful reflection of Karen and Derek's love for each other and Christ's love for the church.  The reception was a PAR-TAY complete with dancing, a photo booth, and yummy food.  We had a ball celebrating Mr. and Mrs. Derek Brown!  

Side note: The picture below (bottom left) is me with Steve and Gana Barrentine along with two of their 6 kiddos - twin boys, Ben and Rob.  Ben and Rob were about 6 months old when I started babysitting for their family.  Now they're 14 and taller than me.  DOOOOO WHAT??

I'm so grateful for God's timing.  If Karen's wedding came after Baby Gaskins #2's arrival, it would have been near impossible for me to travel to Memphis.  I may have been 6 months pregnant, but I was able to be present for Karen's special day.  Also with Ron just starting his new job, he couldn't take off any time to watch Noah.  My wonderful mother in law came for 5 whole days to help with Noah.  Thank you Linda!  It was a wonderful weekend!

Greenville Month 1: Noah

After about a month in Greenville, I wanted to chronicle the adventures of Noah.  Who wouldn't enjoy that? :)

Let me start by saying what an absolute privilege and joy it is to be "Mommy" to this kid!  Is he perfect?  No.  Does he have crank attacks.  Yes.  Is he spitefully disobedient at times?  You bet!  He's a little sinner, right Rach? :)  But I consider it such a joy to walk alongside him and be a part of shaping his life; of sharing and showing him how life functions best under God's order; to point him to Christ - his Rescuer.  As life has seemed to slow down considerably in the last month, I can't tell you how grateful I am that the vast majority of my day is spent loving and investing in Noah.

So what's been happening in Noah's world?  If Noah could articulate his thoughts, here's what I believe he would share as his top five highlights about life in Greenville.

1. New House.  New Room.  Noah has enjoyed getting accustomed to our new house.  It comes with some special perks for him.  The house is one story, so he can cover a lot of ground quickly without having to worry about stairs.  Also, the food pantry door doesn't have a "knob handle" so he can just help himself to food whenever his little heart and tummy please.  We are working on this one; trying to reason that chips before breakfast is not a wise decision is tough when he's got the bag in hand.  We have done a lot of food reorganizing, so that most of the food he likes is out of reach.

New house means new room for Noah.  It's been an adjustment getting used to one story in that 1. the whole house has hard wood floors, 2. his room is the first bedroom off of the living room, and 3.  it's right across from the main bathroom, which Ron uses to get ready in the morning.  We have become a lot more conscious of the noise we make.  Noah's new room looks and feels a lot like his old room, which I love.  He has adjusted well to it and hasn't had a lot of difficulty sleeping (apart from getting used to new sounds of Ron getting ready, walking right outside his door, etc.).  It's really fun to see him wander into his room and entertain himself with his toys and books.  Next step for Noah's room: TODDLER BED!  

2. Preschool.  Noah is in week 3 of preschool.  We had an unfortunate mix-up with his initial preschool where his first day was his last day because they overlooked his age and said he was actually too young for the class.  Fortunately he was able to enroll the very next week at Memorial Baptist Preschool.  He attends their half day Tuesday/Thursday program.  I love Noah being in preschool for several reasons: 1. His teacher, Mrs. Turner, is great and is from Winston-Salem.  2. I found out on his first day that he has the cutest twin boys in his class whose mother happens to be an old friend from Winston-Salem (small world!).  3. I love the social interaction and creative play he gets at school.  Noah has been slightly delayed in several areas (gross motor and language).  We were optimistic that preschool would help narrow the gap.  We are seeing great progress!

Side note: You'll be happy to know that this past Tuesday was his first day of confidently going to his class without even a hint of tears or a lip quiver.  That's my boy!

3. Kindermusik.  Noah loves music.  He sings, claps, and plays music all the time.  He even has some dance moves he'll bust out on special occasions.  We were excited to get him invovled in a Kindermusik class where he can learn about music in an age appropriate and fun way.  I get to participate with him, which has been a blast for us both.

4. Parks.  This kid loves to be outside!  He melts down almost EVERY TIME we come home, and I make him walk directly inside instead of playing.  We are working on that too. :)  I've tried to be intentional in exploring the parks in Greenville.  I've been so impressed with the Department of Recreation and Parks here.  There are so many parks to visit, and they have a wide variety of programming for the community.  Noah is too young for many of the programs, but we look forward to plugging into their classes and sports once he's old enough.  Until then, we are very content to play on their playgrounds.

5. Play dates.  God's timing is funny sometimes.  He's brought two friends into my life so far; one old, one new.  I had coffee with both of them back-to-back one glorious morning several weeks back.  And then it just so happened that I had a play date with both of their kids on the same day this week.  The picture on the left below is a pretty accurate summary of both play dates: A LOT OF ACTION!  

In between these two play dates was Kindermusik, so Noah had a FULL day.  This is what happened when we got home and were making dinner:

Ha!  I'm thrilled that Noah's having so much fun that he's tuckered out by the end of the day.  It's been a great gift to watch him develop particularly over the last month.  He is quite the social butterfly making friends quickly at the park and his other activities.  He likes to give hugs - even to strangers.  I look forward to seeing his personality continue to take shape and see his interests and gifts develop.  What a WONDERFUL little boy!

Greenville Month 1: Finding a New Faith Family

A significant part of moving to a new city for us is finding a new church family.  This is exciting and overwhelming all at the same time.  On one hand, we have been refreshed by the new congregations we have visited and eagerly anticipate finding community and ministry opportunities once we land at a church.  On the other hand, Calvary has been home for so long.  Being a congregant for 20+ years and on staff for 8, I was spoiled by the familiarity and deep friendships that were part of this body. There have been so many pivotal spiritual and personal milestones that have been part of my connection to Calvary.  For all of this and how God has used Calvary in Ron's life too, I am eternally grateful.

But now we have the unique opportunity to start afresh and experience being the person who is completely unknown and churches that are entirely unfamiliar.  Having been in Greenville for a month, we've attended a handful of churches, and it's been really interesting to be the visitor.  Here are several observations I've made as a visitor.

1. Being Known (if even for or perhaps because of being new) Matters.  This is one of our basic human desires: to be recognized, to be known, for someone to call us by name, for people to remember our birthday, etc.  Two weeks into our move to Greenville, I ran into a woman at Noah's preschool who said, "you look familiar."  She might as well have said you won a million dollars!  I wanted to wrap my arms tightly around her friendly little neck and burst into tears. [You'll be happy to note that I held it together, did not forever scare this kind person away, and have rekindled an old high school friendship.]  But it was such a joy to be familiar to someone.  In this broken world far too many people and their plights are anonymous.  And yet this is where the church should be different.  We should be proactive in seeking out those who are unknown.  And if they walk in our doors, we should absolutely recognize their presence.  If we think of our gatherings (in part) as welcoming the stranger into the home of our faith family, then it would be strange for a new person to enter into our living room and no one to acknowledge their presence or personally welcome them.  

One church we visited had a visitors area in the parking lot where they could connect with us and capture our contact info.  If we had skipped this area, there were several other touch points for them to capture our info as first time guests.  It was clear to me that they wanted to know who was new in their midst.

Leaders and Laity: How do you recognize and connect with visitors in your midst?

2. Environment Matters.  The environment of the church either helps or hinders the function of the church.  This may be a teeny, weeny soapbox for me, but I think it's an important point.  If we want our services to be communion around the holiness of God, the depravity of man, and glory of the life, death, and resurrection of Christ, then the content and environments in and surrounding our services matter.  Some thoughts to consider (we can disagree and still be best friends, promise!): how does lighting distract because of flashiness or diminish the ability to see and engage people?  How does the volume of music encourage or discourage participation?  How does bringing food and drink into the service set the stage for a casual gathering or a spectator posture?  These are several of many examples that help us consider how the environment of the service impacts the experience and understanding of those in attendance. 

Leadership: How does your environment help or hinder what you believe to be the mission of the church (gathered)?

3. Friendliness Matters.  Ron and I are moderately confident people.  It would be hard to dissuade us from attending (a) church simply because no one initially speaks to us.  We are determined to plug into a local church, because we recognize that our spiritual health and personal health depend on it.  But I imagine there are a lot of visitors who are very tentative about being new or what church is about. To come to a new place and not have anyone approach you or talk to you could be very disheartening.  

At the end of one church we visited, the kindest man approached us.  He wasn't a pastor or staff person; simply a lay person who approached us to ask if we were new.  He proceeded to engage us for about five minutes asking about our lives and being genuinely friendly.  This made a huge impression on us.  I couldn't help but think, "If this church is made up of people like this guy, then this is a place I want to be."  The guy was kind and friendly, and it made a difference!  At another congregation, I had a friend contact me on a Saturday night asking if I was planning to attend and wanted to sit with her.  Again it made a significant difference to have someone reach out to me and to experience the congregation, in part, through her lens.  

Lay person: How are you as a member of a faith family intentionally looking for unfamiliar faces to warmly greet and welcome into a deeper relationship with your congregation?

4. Follow Up Matters.  Whether formally or informally, follow up is important.  I have been intentional to follow what I understand to be "visitor protocol" in all the churches we have visited partly because I want more information and partly because I'm curious if churches will follow up with us.  It has been meaningful for us to receive emails, phone calls, and even Starbucks gift cards from congregations we have visited.  The email of one congregation led us to the most enjoyable and informative meeting with their pastor.  On the other hand, there have been congregations that we did not hear from.  We have wondered if they lost our information or if they simply do not have a system set up to connect with folks who visit their church.

Leadership: How does your church follow up with visitors?

Overwhelmingly we have been encouraged by the congregations we have visited!  We are praying about where to land, but are grateful for several wonderful options.

Greenville Month 1: Our Home

Monday will mark four weeks that we have called Greenville home.  Most of our time in Greenville thus far has revolved around getting our new house cleaned, unpacked, and organized.  Right now we still have a house (READ: MORTGAGE) in Winston-Salem.  We are also brand new to Greenville and have no clue where we would want to buy a house.  So for now, we are renting a great home in a central neighborhood.  Here's what she looks like:

Our home is a significant place to us: it's where we share time with each other, it's where we nurture and train our child (soon to be children), it's where we find rest, it's where we fellowship with neighbors and friends.  It was important to Ron and me that we work hard to make our house a home as quickly as possible so we could settle in and enjoy the richness of family and friends.

I'm thankful that Ron had the foresight to move to Greenville two weeks before he started his new job.  It was a blessing to spend that time with him and to work together in getting the house set up.  I'm happy to report that we are almost entirely unpacked and settled.

With that being said, allow me to share some of my favorite spaces in our new home:

Kitchen.  I love the kitchen for a number of reasons.  Practically speaking, it's the brightest room in the house, which is medicine for the soul in and of itself.  It's also beautiful!  I think it's safe to say that this is the nicest kitchen we will ever have in our lifetime.  Even though we are renting, I plan to enjoy it while we are here.  I love preparing meals for our family and anticipating our time talking at the counter or sitting together at the table.  I'm grateful for this sweet kitchen.

Dining Room.  First, it's nice to have a dining room.  Our last house had a "dining nook," but not a formal dining room, so it's great to have space specifically for a full table and chairs.  Second, meals are one of the few times where we stop and are all together to enjoy food and each other.  That time is precious.  Also, the dining room is filled with many of my favorite pieces of pottery and art, which makes me happy.

"Library."  I use that term very loosely.  I really mean a space where we can keep all of our books in one location.  Being that Ron and I have taken on the titles of "life long students," we have amassed a lot of books through school.  But we have many others that represent our interests.  Some are biographical, some are historical, many are spiritual, all are meaningful and paint a picture of our journey as individuals and as a couple.  I also love the glass lamp that illuminates the book shelves.  The lamp was a commissioned gift from my mom, and is one of my most treasured items.

Fire place.  This may just be my absolute favorite part of our new home.  Fire places are just cozy, aren't they?  And above the fire place hangs an extremely meaningful picture to me.  My dad was an art appraiser for many years.  Art was not only his vocation, but his passion.  This picture was one that he always displayed prominently in our home when I was growing up.  Before he passed away, he told me that I could have it.  When my mom moved to Florida, she officially gave it to me.  What a beloved gift that I so proudly display in our new home!  Also the shelves that flank the fire place are filled with precious items: pictures of loved ones, a shelf of items that Ron and I have collected from past mission trips, Mangum pottery and other art pieces, a "love Winston-Salem" piece that I bought at a SOS auction, a commissioned metal disk of "Crucified Christ" from my dad.  So many intimate reminders of God's goodness and grace in our lives.

Nursery.  There is so much anticipation when expecting a child, but especially your first.  Part of the process I loved when expecting Noah was preparing his nursery and anticipating all the activities that would happen in that space: watching Noah sleep, rocking him, reading to him, playing with him, praying over him.  That anticipation has birthed so many precious memories in his first nursery in Winston-Salem.  I'm grateful for Noah's new room and how similar it looks and feels to his old nursery.  I look forward to many more memories and welcoming our second little boy in January.

John Miller Collection.  I wouldn't go as far as to say that I'm an official art collector, but I do have a number of Mangum Pottery pieces and John Miller prints.  John Miller has been a special artist to me since high school.  He was a long time friend of my dad, painted many landscapes of Cornwall (a special vacation spot while my family lived in England), and was a deeply spiritual man.  I had the privilege of meeting John at his home/studio in England while I was in high school, and he had a deep impact on my life.  After we met, he sent me several prayers and pictures as gifts.  It is special to fill our bedroom with all of the prints I've collected through the years.

So this is a glimpse of some special spaces in our new home.  If you're in our neck of the woods, stop by and visit.  We'd love to see you!

Gaskins . Greenville . Grace

A new blog for the Gaskins family?  

Yes!  

Why so?  Why now?  

Our family has gone through a significant transition over the past several months.  In August Ron accepted a position with Community Care of North Carolina and Vidant Health to oversee "Access East," which is one of 14 networks that manages the healthcare for Medicaid recipients and the uninsured in 27 eastern counties.  Ron's new job is based out of Greenville, NC, and so on September 22nd we moved our little family from Winston-Salem to Greenville.  We are starting anew.  For me it has meant a transition from working, being a student, and enjoying a strong social network in a very familiar city to staying at home with Noah, being done with school, and having no social network in a brand new city.  Each is a blessing in it's own right, and I look forward to seeing how God works in each of these arenas.

This blog is an attempt to use this new season with its new routine to chronicle what's happening in our family's life and to chronicle how we are glimpsing God's grace as we begin a new chapter in Greenville.  I know it will be personally sweet to have a record of how God is at work in and through our family's life.  I also hope it will help us stay connected to family and friends in Winston-Salem and beyond.

So here's to blogging being part of this new season!